Sunday, 31 December 2017

We're here

2017 has been an intense year – both for me personally and for the world at large. It’s been scary, and exciting, and sad, and joyous, and above all else, surprising. To me, 2017 can be summed up in that one word – surprising. Many of us began this year thinking it was going to be a complete mess – and in the beginning the world didn’t give us any reason to believe otherwise. We began the year fearful, uncertain, and divided. It has been a difficult year, but I believe in being so, it has been one of our best yet.

In the face of inexplicable tragedy, unthinkable horrors, and just plain awful circumstances, we found humanity. This year we saw people join hands again and again and again to show that even with everything we are going through, we will get through this, together – come hell or high water. And we did! That is a reason to celebrate.

I think I will definitely look back on 2017 as a year that changed my life. My life has indeed changed and so have I. It is amazing what can happen in the span of 12 months, and I have learned so much. I have learned what it is like to be away from home. What it is like to miss my parents. I’ve learned how to see people as more than just labels, to understand that everyone has a story, and that first impressions are not always correct. I’ve learned that rejection is survivable, failures are inevitable, and mistakes are essential. I’ve learned that if you want something, you must fight for it. I’ve learned that trying that new thing you’ve been avoiding might just change your life. I’ve learned that there is still good in the world, and above all, I know now for sure, that hope is not misguided – it is real and it is important.

During the days of World War I, when British soldiers down in the trenches felt hopeless and unsure of what was happening, and why they were even fighting, the story goes that they would sing in the tune of Auld Lang Syne (how appropriate), the words “We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here” over and over again. As macabre as it sounds, it is important because it reminds us that in times of desperation that not all is lost.

 As John Green said “We may never know why we are here, but we can still proclaim in hope that we are here”.

new year GIFAnd so long as we are here, we can do things, build things, be things that make the world better. There is so much work to be done. And I know that we will rise to the challenge, as we always have, as we always will. This new year will bring with it even more challenges, and we must be ready.
So, bring it on 2018, because whatever comes, we’re here.
I see that as a great privilege – one we cannot squander.

Happy New Year <3
It’s going to be incredible!

Until next time,
Bianka



Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Reboot!

new new year sparklerIsn’t it a little (more like a lottle XD) late for a new year post? Yes.

Am I going to do one anyway? Yes!

Magandang Buhay everyone! I hope you are having a beautiful day!

I haven’t said in the longest time, and I haven’t posted a blogpost or a video in forever and a day. I had almost given up on ever doing either ever again. But that’s not going to happen! I’ve decided to keep going, because I’ve finally found my voice again

phoenix
This year got off to kind of a rocky start for me – I’d been working through some stuff and the constant reminder of our new reality wasn’t really helping. I’d stopped posting towards the end of last year, but that doesn’t mean I stopped writing or filming. There were so many stories to tell, so many ideas to share, and I wanted every single one of them to be told just perfectly. I wrote draft after draft and filmed clip after clip, obsessed with achieving some imagined perfection, but nothing I did ever came close to what I wanted it to be, and as a result my creative output drew to a screeching halt. Somewhere along the way, I had lost my voice. Wait, that’s not it exactly. It’s more like I was scared to use my voice- scared people would think I was silly, weird, or just plain wrong. I was scared of what the world would say about my voice. That fear held me back. I’ve been learning that fear has a way of doing that (more on that soon XD)
I kept searching for better ways to say what I wanted to say that I forget why I started all of this in the first place. Nothing I ever said was ever meant to be profound, or philosophically sound, or please anyone. Nothing I ever said was meant to be perfect. It just had to be me. Authentically 100% me. I forgot that that was enough. That it is enough. So even though we’re well into the new year, I’m making a resolution – to use my voice again. To use my platforms again. To be me again.
im back

Until next time,

Bianka