Isn’t
it a little (more like a lottle XD) late for a new year post? Yes.
Am
I going to do one anyway? Yes!
Magandang
Buhay everyone! I hope you are having a beautiful day!
I
haven’t said in the longest time, and I haven’t posted a blogpost or a video in
forever and a day. I had almost given up on ever doing either ever again. But that’s
not going to happen! I’ve decided to keep going, because I’ve finally found my
voice again
This
year got off to kind of a rocky start for me – I’d been working through some stuff
and the constant reminder of our new reality wasn’t really helping. I’d stopped
posting towards the end of last year, but that doesn’t mean I stopped writing
or filming. There were so many stories to tell, so many ideas to share, and I
wanted every single one of them to be told just perfectly. I wrote draft after
draft and filmed clip after clip, obsessed with achieving some imagined
perfection, but nothing I did ever came close to what I wanted it to be, and as
a result my creative output drew to a screeching halt. Somewhere along the way,
I had lost my voice. Wait, that’s not it exactly. It’s more like I was scared
to use my voice- scared people would think I was silly, weird, or just plain
wrong. I was scared of what the world would say about my voice. That fear held
me back. I’ve been learning that fear has a way of doing that (more on that
soon XD)
I
kept searching for better ways to say what I wanted to say that I forget why I
started all of this in the first place. Nothing I ever said was ever meant to
be profound, or philosophically sound, or please anyone. Nothing I ever said
was meant to be perfect. It just had to be me. Authentically 100% me. I forgot
that that was enough. That it is enough. So even though we’re well into the new
year, I’m making a resolution – to use my voice again. To use my platforms
again. To be me again.
Until
next time,
Bianka
