Hell is other people.

In Jean Paul Sartre’s 1944 play, No exit, one finds one of his most famous quotes of all time – 

 I came across this quote a few days ago and it struck me, but not in the way you’d think. To fully understand the point I hope to make today, I need to provide you with some context.

The play features two men and a woman, strangers to each other, doomed to spend eternity together in hell, which for them is a luxurious room decorated in the French style. Being only human, they soon fall into a love triangle. The woman chooses one of them, and the couple is happy together, until they come to the realization that they can’t court one another properly as they are always under the watchful gaze of their other companion. Finally the man who was chosen yells out in frustration that the hell that they had imagined during their lives – the fire, the brim stones, the burning marl – were all made up, a kind illusion. 

“There's no need for red-hot pokers. Hell is—other people!”

So we can all agree that Sartre meant to say people are the worst, but examining the context from which the quote arose tells us why. Having people around makes life harder for us because we are always under their constant scrutiny, or at least that’s what we think. In psychology, we learn that perception of self comes from one’s imagining of their image in other people’s minds. This imagining of how other people see us influences us more than it does them. And learning this fact suddenly made me overwhelmingly aware of the unconscious part we play in each other’s lives.

By merely existing, we make all others imagine themselves through our eyes, place themselves under our inspection, and ultimately (indirectly) pass judgment on themselves. When you walk into a room everyone is simultaneously sizing you up and forming what they think your opinion of them is. Realizing this hit me like a ton of bricks because I realized that without my knowing, someone might make up their mind that I don’t like them, or some other such opinion! If you ask me, it’s time to get ahead of the game.

Remember that, by nature, we are always so critical of ourselves, so harsh!So, by extension, the way we perceive ourselves is bound to be harsh. And that is no way to live! So, listen up, everybody, because I have an assignment for you! It won’t cause you any trouble, and trust me; you get major extra credit in life! Go out into the world today, live your life as usual, and along the way pay five different people a genuine compliment. It could be anything, but remember to be sincere, open, and say it with a smile! You have no idea just how much this could impact someone’s day, and in the end, you’ve made the world a better place to be in! Remind people that their perception is illusory and really, they’re amazing just the way they are. Be kind and make people feel loved.

Hell maybe other people, but other people can be pretty amazing. They can push themselves to change the way things are, and when they do, that’s when the magic happens.

Be that magic. Prove Sartre wrong!

Until next time,

Bianka

1945.

Y’all knew this was coming XD

So if you know anything about me (or if you read my blogger bio), you know I am obsessed with the amazing entity that is the United Nations. Today, on its 70^th anniversary, I think it’s only fitting to take a look back on the origins of this organization and the ideas on which it was founded.

The UN formally came into existence on the 24^th of October, 1945. Fifty countries came together, signed the charter, and pledged peace and fraternity to one another. Since that fateful day, the number of member countries has grown to 193, the latest to join the crew being South Sudan. It is incredibly important to note that at the time of the formation of the UN, the world was just recovering from the horrific disaster that was the Second World War. The world was sore, in shock. It was a devastating war that took millions of lives and ruined countless others. We were determined to never let that happen again.

Right now, you might be kind of annoyed that I’m giving a mini history lesson, but I think it’s extremely important to understand the context of the foundation of the UN, because it sheds light on why the world is how it is today.

Seventy years later, and the world has bounced back. All the wounds have healed, and while there are scars, we choose to put them aside. The world today is focused on progress and innovation, industry and technology. Peace in every nation is still a distant dream. I’m just sixteen, I’m really no expert but this is my two cents- I think in order to move forward and make peace, we need to look back to see what destroyed it.

The world has seen conflict over the years of course, but never on a massive scale, and most of the current generation doesn’t truly understand what war really means (and I hope we never have to.) People today argue that conflict is inevitable, that the UN is inefficient and that it isn’t worth trying any more. But they are all wrong.

Conflict may arise, but it needs to be fought. The UN may be flawed, but who among us is perfect? And if our forefathers had thought it wasn’t worth trying any more, where would we be? I have mentioned before that I love and admire the UN, and now, I’m going to tell you why. All those years ago, in the cold winds of October, 1945, the World stood together for the first time in a long time and founded this organization on the ruins they had created. There was no assurance that this would work (ideas like it had failed before) but they pushed forward nonetheless, driven by pure unbridled hope. When the world seemed bleak and lost, ripped to pieces by the scourge of war, the UN shined like a beacon, and stood as a symbol that things were going to get better. And just like we needed that hope to push us through seventy years ago, we need it again today, perhaps more than ever before.

Today, like we do on all birthdays and anniversaries, let’s take a moment to look back on our histories and see all that we have accomplished together. Let’s celebrate our achievements and learn from our mistakes. We need to remember our past to understand our present, and hopefully change our future for the better.  

So here’s to the power of hope, and the promise of peace. Here’s to the UN, and the next 70!

I’m rooting for you!

Until next time,

Bianka

#ChooseBeautiful

OK guys! I think we all need to have a talk. This post is the result of weeks of hearing things that really suck to hear. So no matter who you are or where you come from I just wanted to take the time to let you know that you are beautiful. And it’s OK for you to think so too!

Right now y’all must be like “That was random! Like, why now?!”

Hold up! Let me explain XD

If you spend a lot of time on the internet, like I do, you’ll start to notice that people all over the world really don’t like themselves - simple as that. They don’t like the way they look or where they are in life or just generally feel really down on themselves. And what struck me most about seeing all of this was how much I related to them. And then I realized that the people around me related too. I started realizing that everyone has things they don’t like about themselves. Some days everyone feels like a giant walking potato. But we suppress these feelings for fear of judgment and silently begin to resent ourselves. I think this is an issue that everyone can relate to and you know what? That really sucks!

 It’s time to do something about that, don’t you think?!

Dove, amazing company that it is, did a global report on attitudes towards beauty in several different countries with the aim of understanding and redefining the international model of beauty. It was a ground breaking study and the most important and striking result of the report was this- of the hundreds of thousands of women who took part in the study, only 2% thought of themselves as beautiful! 2%!!!! Let that sink in!

God, no wonder the world has problems! Everyone is all sad about themselves and that kind of negativity is contagious. But you know what else is contagious?! (No not a cold! I mean yeah it is, but like not a disease! Think again!) – HAPPINESS!!! Being happy and confident is a hard task, almost herculean. Loving yourself is much easier said than done! We are all our own worst critic and sometime our inner voice is harsh. Recently though, I came by a cool piece of advice which really changed the way I saw things, and I hope it helps you too! Here it is:

If the person in the mirror was your best friend, or someone you really care about, would you really be this mean? Of course not! You’d tell them they’re beautiful because that’s the way you see them right?

 It wasn’t till a little while later that I realized the implication of that sentence. You ARE your best friend and you should care about yourself! No one else is going to make sure you’re fine – you have to learn to do that for yourself.

I feel like in today’s world it has become almost customary to put yourself down, to show the world that you don’t think too much of yourself. Well, personally, I think the world would be better if everyone thought good things about themselves! Be proud of who you are, and when someone gives you a compliment, accept it! Don’t deflect it by putting yourself down again. You are better than that!

We need to create a world where beauty is defined from the inside out and not the other way around! Every single one of you is unmistakably perfect, just the way you are! You have so much to give the world and you owe it to yourself to see what you can do with all that potential! Above all always carry yourself with grace and confidence. Shoulders back! Chin up! And don’t forget that smile, Beautiful! It’s a wonderful time to be alive! So what are you waiting for?!

Until next time,

Bianka