Hell is other people.

In Jean Paul Sartre’s 1944 play, No exit, one finds one of his most famous quotes of all time – 

 I came across this quote a few days ago and it struck me, but not in the way you’d think. To fully understand the point I hope to make today, I need to provide you with some context.

The play features two men and a woman, strangers to each other, doomed to spend eternity together in hell, which for them is a luxurious room decorated in the French style. Being only human, they soon fall into a love triangle. The woman chooses one of them, and the couple is happy together, until they come to the realization that they can’t court one another properly as they are always under the watchful gaze of their other companion. Finally the man who was chosen yells out in frustration that the hell that they had imagined during their lives – the fire, the brim stones, the burning marl – were all made up, a kind illusion. 

“There's no need for red-hot pokers. Hell is—other people!”

So we can all agree that Sartre meant to say people are the worst, but examining the context from which the quote arose tells us why. Having people around makes life harder for us because we are always under their constant scrutiny, or at least that’s what we think. In psychology, we learn that perception of self comes from one’s imagining of their image in other people’s minds. This imagining of how other people see us influences us more than it does them. And learning this fact suddenly made me overwhelmingly aware of the unconscious part we play in each other’s lives.

By merely existing, we make all others imagine themselves through our eyes, place themselves under our inspection, and ultimately (indirectly) pass judgment on themselves. When you walk into a room everyone is simultaneously sizing you up and forming what they think your opinion of them is. Realizing this hit me like a ton of bricks because I realized that without my knowing, someone might make up their mind that I don’t like them, or some other such opinion! If you ask me, it’s time to get ahead of the game.

Remember that, by nature, we are always so critical of ourselves, so harsh!So, by extension, the way we perceive ourselves is bound to be harsh. And that is no way to live! So, listen up, everybody, because I have an assignment for you! It won’t cause you any trouble, and trust me; you get major extra credit in life! Go out into the world today, live your life as usual, and along the way pay five different people a genuine compliment. It could be anything, but remember to be sincere, open, and say it with a smile! You have no idea just how much this could impact someone’s day, and in the end, you’ve made the world a better place to be in! Remind people that their perception is illusory and really, they’re amazing just the way they are. Be kind and make people feel loved.

Hell maybe other people, but other people can be pretty amazing. They can push themselves to change the way things are, and when they do, that’s when the magic happens.

Be that magic. Prove Sartre wrong!

Until next time,

Bianka